Have you ever seen this type of picture, where you can see different faces of emotion? My friend, Susan, another mother I met back in February in Nashville, talked this week about the emotions of grief and this photo is what kept coming to my mind. She said, “I have been thinking a lot about how strange grief is. You just can’t figure it out. How two polar opposite emotions can co-exist at the same time. Before our losses these emotions only existed in isolation. The way they are supposed to be experienced. Now they are all mixed together. No wonder grief is so confusing.”
I read & re-read her sentences this past week & know them to be so true. I have experienced my emotions, for example “sad” & “happy”, to be entwined like spaghetti noodles & it makes me wonder, do we carry these emotions around inside us all the time? I know I have had days before Lulu that I would be sad at one moment, but happy a few moments later, but I am talking about when I feel the sadness in my heart, but right next to it (at the exact moment) there is joy. It must be like a rainbow…the dark grey rain pouring down from the clouds & yet for there to be a rainbow you must have the bright yellow sun shining also, at the exact moment. Sometimes to think about it all is too much. A lot of days it is better to just feel the emotions that come, whether they be rain or sun or a rainbow.