Two years ago, today. The day that I woke up and my daughter did not. Today is the day, the day before Thanksgiving {one of my favorite holiday’s – the day we give thanks}. And even though Lulu’s heaven birthdate is not until Saturday, today is the day that the loss has hit me.
Hard.
Sometimes, it feels like two separate days that we lost her.
I received this email today and wanted to share it. It is the words I feel, but cannot put into words. Thank you, Cindy.
Hi Cami, As I watched you and Janie go forward for prayer Sunday night, I remembered that you have an anniversary date coming up. Again, when I saw you at the preschool Thanksgiving dinner, I recognized the look on your face as my own… the one when you’re trying so hard to be a part of what’s going on around you, but you can’t break through that invisible wall that separates you from everyone else.
I know the feeling of wondering how the earth can still be spinning–how can the sun keep coming up and going down. Our worlds have been rocked so violently, and yet others continue to go through life, as if nothing has happened. Don’t they know? Can’t they tell that something has been shattered? And the aftershocks continue rocking our worlds even as we too go through the motions of life. But life can never again be “normal” for us. We have a new normal, and sometimes it just feels so wrong.
Just know that you’re not alone. We are members of a club no one ever wants to join. But I know your grief, even though our circumstances are so different, and I understand. And I am praying for you today. Love, Cindy

There’s not a day or date that goes by that I don’t think of you and miss you, Lulu.