I woke up at 2:00 this morning and could hardly breathe as I thought about you.
I wonder who you look like on your 4th birthday.
I wonder if your eyes match the stars in the night.
I wonder if your hair is still dark and gently lays across your forehead.
I wonder who is holding you close.
I think about your brothers and sister, as they run and play. I see you beside them.
Chasing the chickens, throwing September’s tennis ball, riding in the golf cart.
If I could have one more squeeze – I would take it in a second.
If I could kiss your sweet little nose – I wouldn’t hesitate.
It has been more difficult, this birthday.
My heart is still raw.
Time is not doing his job very well.
I know my tears are captured in the hand of The One who made this ‘your’ day.
There is hope in front of me.
So, we WILL celebrate you today, Lulu Grace.
With so much pink…
Balloons – the big ones.
And bubbles being blown all over this little city farm.
We will embrace it all.
The brokenness that still plays its part.
The beauty that somehow outshines it all.
And we will hold you closer still.
Happy 4th Birthday, baby girl.