I wanted to share my devotion this morning. It comes from “Jesus Calling” by Sarah Young.
“Rest with me awhile. You have journeyed up a steep, rugged path in recent days. The way ahead is shrouded in uncertainty. Look neither behind you nor before you. Instead, focus your attention on Me, your constant Companion. Trust that I will equip you fully for whatever awaits you on your journey.
I designed time to be a protection for you. You couldn’t bear to see all your life at once. Though I am unlimited by time, it is in the present moment that I meet you. Refresh yourself in My company, breathing deep draughts of My Presence. The highest level of trust is to enjoy Me moment by moment. I am with you, watching over you wherever you go.”
That is all I want to do today is to TRUST in Him, so that His healing PEACE can flow out over me. This is my journey with Him. Grief can be a selfish place, because grief is so personal to each individual. And sometimes I have to focus on my own grief & what it looks like to me, because it doesn’t look the same to anyone else, not my husband, not other mothers that I have met who have their babies in heaven with Lulu, not my family, not my friends. It is the same as my personal relationship with Jesus. It is my journey with Him. What is He teaching me? What changes are being done in me? Who is the person He wants me to become? No one else can answer that, not my husband, not my family, not my friends.
So even though it is completely personal, it is something that I can share. And I want to share it, to let people know that in our deepest grief (whatever that may be to each individual) our deepest relationship (with Jesus) can continue to flourish.
“Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in You. Show me the way I should go, for to You I entrust my life.” Psalm 143:8
“I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.” Genesis 28:15
Lulu's Grace 
I need this reminder. So many people say “I know how you feel” and I want to scream – you can’t possibly know how I feel! You don’t know what my relationship was with my mom and how painful it is to not have her here – even if they were in similar circumstances, it’s still my journey. And yet, it’s a comfort when my closest friends, who have experienced deep loss, share this journey with me and understand – at least on some level – the hurt and loss I feel. I love you my friend. Praying for you and missing Lulu with you.