Last night as your daddy slept, every time he breathed, his warm breath would blow out across my forehead.

It reminded me of your soft little breaths of air.

I love the sound of your sweet breathing.

I love you, little girl of mine.

Today we will celebrate you Lulu…

I think we will go & have a picnic at the memory garden.

I need to be near you, somehow, today.

We will blow bubbles.

And send our love up in them to you.

We will laugh & play & think of you.

We love you so much.

Dear Lulu,

Daddy & I started this morning with a couple of these…

And one beautiful sunrise.  Yes, it was cloudy, but it was also calming. Just to sit with daddy & talk about heaven.

Your home now & our home to be.

I still can’t help but wonder what the oceans look like from where you are, when I see the sunrise, are you watching it set?

Your grandpa sent me an email & I have been thinking about it A LOT.

 He said, “I heard from one preacher that we are building our heavenly home by how we live here on earth – the love, peace, longsuffering, etc. that we manifest here on earth are the only things that will be taken with us to heaven, as much of God’s attributes that are manifested in us…so I have a little thought (and we know that God is able to do more than what we ask or think) that maybe Lulu is being raised by your motherly feelings you have for her here on earth. It is a thought that I had and I think God can do all things…”

Not being able to raise you here with our family is such a hard thing for me, as your earthly mama. I long to hold you, feed you, kiss you & watch you grow.

I don’t know if I will get to do any of those things when I see you next (and honestly will it even matter, I mean we’ll be standing in His presence), but it is something that breaks my heart every day.  This thought, from grandpa, (whether it is true or not) has given me some comfort.

I love you sweet baby & I will sleep with you in my heart tonight…