Birthday Thanks

This year was a difficult birthday. And I still don’t know exactly why. Maybe there is no reason {or maybe a multitude of them} for why I felt the way I felt. But that is what I have reminded myself of…those are feelings.

Feelings that are real, but feelings that I can’t base her birthday on.

The truth is, Sunday was a BEAUTIFUL day- full of sun and hope and peace.

I struggled the week before with feelings of guilt for not having everything planned out, even though I didn’t know exactly what to plan out. I think with having so much change this summer, and I still don’t feel ‘settled’ yet. I didn’t want to miss making 1 memory for Lulu because I was so preoccupied. I had to remind myself that just like with the other kids, if we had other things going on during their birthday’s, we would still celebrate them, even if it was a different day.

We started Sunday with church and the kids all wore a special shirt…

Then we came home to play with Lulu’s birthday present…

Meet September.

Our 3 month old Goldendoodle.

That afternoon we all headed off to D’s soccer game. And afterwards we celebrated with Marion’s pizza and a chocolate chip cookie cake and singing happy birthday to Lulu.

From yellow balloons, to cards, calls, hugs, texts, roses in bubble containers, $2 bills, a strawberry pie candle, texts, email’s, mum’s, a song written just for Lulu, and bubbles. We had friends celebrating with cake & ice cream from California to covering us in prayer in New Jersey. And we did get to eat my strawberry ‘soup’ pie {thanks for renaming it, babe}. Yes, we had to eat it with spoons again this year. And I will figure out a recipe one year that works. But it was delish.

Thank you for continuing to make memories with us. Because those memories are real. Our feelings change from day to day. But the luv that you all share is real.

Thank you for luving our daughter with us.

Birthday Decorating

We’re decorating around here for our baby’s birthday.

She will be 2 on Sunday.

Celebrating somewhere else.

And that is really hard for me.

The flower’s are still so beautiful, Aunt Sue.

I have been selfish this week. Not concerned about what God has done for me, but instead why life is so hard? Why can’t Lulu be here with us? Will it always hurt this bad? Why are memories the only thing I am holding?

And then the guilt sets in.

We are so blessed. There are so many people who luv us. Why am I complaining?

It is a crazy ride and I just want to yell at the carnie to stop and let me off!

The back and forth is enough to make anyone go crazy.

Today, would you say a prayer? A prayer for anyone that has suffered a loss. Say a prayer for yourself {hasn’t everyone lost something}. Say a prayer for me, I would greatly appreciate it.

Birthday give-a-way

To celebrate my upcoming birthday, I want to have another give-a-way.

This time I have 2 books.

1. My favorite devotional, “Jesus Calling”…

{if I could give one of these away daily, I would – it’s that good)

2. and a beautiful book called “The Psalms of David”…

Seriously, I could sit and look at these pictures all day…BEAUTIFUL.

I will have a separate drawing for each book.

For YOUR chance to win, just leave a comment saying the best birthday gift you’ve ever received and which book {from above} you would like to be entered to win.

{If you would like to be entered for both books, just leave 2 comments}.

I’ll draw 2 winners next Friday.

Good luck friends!

see the winners here